Years ago, when my boys were little and I was soaking up anything and everything I could find about Waldorf and homeschooling, I followed a beautiful blog called Today in Faerie School. The blog is no longer up, but one of my favorite posts was about the Winter Solstice and how the blogger, Faerie Rebecca, stayed up the night of the Solstice in vigil with Mother Earth, waiting for the newborn Sun and baking cinnamon rolls for her family. Although I had a lot of energy for implementing many things into our families lives, staying up all night, or even late for that matter, was not one of them. With my busy toddler, preschooler and kindergartener, I was more often than not found fast asleep next to them at 8:00.
My boys are older now, and I was just fretting over our busy days away from home, filled with more complex lesson work that all my energy is poured into. I miss the simpler, albeit exhausting days, of littles occupied with play dough, cookie baking and the natural rhythms of the week, month and year.
That being said, I find myself this year staying up, keeping the vigil I wanted to for so long, turning my thoughts inwards to where we are at this moment in time. It is so easy to think back with rose coloured glasses and lament over days gone by. I may not be exactly where I wanted to be, and yes Gram, things have not gotten any easier, but we are together every day, growing and learning… and I am starting to find new ways of filling up my well, so that I may fill the well’s of my not so little boys. This vigil and more introspection over the coming weeks are one of those ways.
Cinnamon Buns rising to be baked and served with Gingerbread boys and baked apples for breakfast tomorrow morning.